Hate your family?
26″Whoever comes to me and does not hate his father and his mother and his brothers and his sisters and his wife and his children and even himself, he cannot be my disciple.” 27“And whoever does not take his cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”Luke 14:26 From the Aramaic – Plain English
When you look at the process where you are going through, you see that no part in it is redundant. Regarding the way that you experienced yourself in the relationships you have, the close relationships, your relationship with purpose related matters (what you called your work, etc.) Your relationship with the world. Also in your relationship with yourself and not to forget with God. All the experiences you have are helpful for the transformation of you from natural man to spiritual man.
All this led to a fever pitch in terms of impossibility. It became impossible for you to function ‘normal’. It did not offer you what you expected it should. You went through deep dissatisfaction and hatred. Your hatred came fully in your awareness and covered almost everything.
The great thing is that you did all of that without holding back, you went for it. This is helpful to the point in which you start to recognize that there must be ‘something’ else. You want to discover the ‘something else’
This new realm of discovering there is ‘something’ else is where you are now. In fact it is necessary for your “disciple-ship” ( Joel would call it Practitioner-ship)
You were called and you have answered.
This what you experience now, and this is what that looks like. You picked up your practice of meditation and contemplative meditation and want to get to the bottom of it to come to know yourself. You participate actively in classes and study and become open for guidance. You actually start to listen.
This is not the end, it is a beginning.
You are willing to pick up the cross of self responsibility. You start to listen and step back. You start your disciple-ship and follow your Master. This is not a cross or sacrifice at all. “For my yoke is pleasant and my burden is light” Here is more from Matthew 11, with the words of your whole Mind.
28″Come unto me, all of you who labor and are forced to bear burdens, and I shall give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am peaceful and meek in my heart and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is pleasant and my burden is light.”Matthew 11: 28 from Aramaic to Plain English