Ok, you decided to dedicate yourself to the spiritual path. Not sure what you choose for. But one thing you know, there has to be more than the human frame of reference, with its limitations, pains and death.
You got in touch with a path that will let you undergo a physical transformation. What does that mean and what are the ‘symptoms’ of that?
The fact that you allowed yourself a new vibration and frequency of thought to come to you has a lot of implications. It’s like.. your hormones changed. And yes it has an effect on your endocrine system. Your emotional stability is touched, you suddenly cry for no reason, you become incredibly sensitive for noise or energies. But also, you see your body is changing. It’s very well possible that you gain some weight.
In Matthew it says: The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
Once on this path, your body is filling up with light. It will come in your cells, in your heart, everywhere. But it does something there. It stirs up old memories, old ideas and all of that, all for healing. There is a purification process starting.
One of the other parts of the process is the ‘rollercoaster’ emotional instability. One day you fly on cloud nine, the other day you are, with your nose, up against a wall. You feel more the depths of the feelings, you are coming alive. The moments that you are face to face with the wall, the temptation will arise to project on a person, situation or circumstance that you feel like this. But that is not so. There is no reason why you feel like this. It is something you go through, maybe intensely uncomfortable, but it too will change. It might be the next minute, hour or day that you discover it is gone.
All this is a reason to stay with your practice and not let yourself be disturbed by it too much. See it like this, you are going through a process of undoing. For the good the holy and the beautiful.
When you feel much resistance, know that you are actually undergoing a light insertion. The light is “pressing” on you, a lot is happening. Be gentle with yourself.